Goodnight, Ghana.

It’s been two weeks since our flight left Ghana to bring us back to the states, and it already feels like it happened ages ago. Apparently, several thousands of miles is all you need to create a “distant memory”. Baby Ray, Mama Florence, the goats; they all seem so far away. However, I do appreciate every question about Baby Ray posed by family members and friends when they first see me and inquire about my Ghana experience.

While we’re speaking about it, we received an e-mail the other morning that Baby Ray is being treated for malaria. Initially it’s very alarming, but when you consider the fact that many of the Ghanaians we knew got malaria 1-3 times a year, seems kinda like a rite of passage. Welcome to Ghana, Baby Ray! Despite his momentary illness, he’s growing bigger and bigger by the day. That makes me really happy. His mother is also ready to start her new job, which she will be able to do very soon thanks to all of you. That makes me really really happy.

After being back for these two weeks, I’ve adjusted pretty well. I no longer feel dead tired at 7pm, and I’ve only had one episode of impending doom. I graduated a week ago, and have begun to prepare myself for my next major journey: residency. I’ve responded to most people’s inquiries about Ghana by referring them once more to my blog (guess they didn’t read the about section), and have managed to solicit a couple more donations for The Life of Ray fund. But it’s the return to my normal day-to-day that’s not so easy: how I spend my time and how I spend my money, specifically. When I think back on my past few post-grad days, and how I blew my grad money on my “Yay, I finally graduated!” celebration (which I just returned from an hour ago), it makes me feel a little guilty.

The reality of the reality of it all, and having so much versus having so little, it really weighs on you. It makes your life, your needs and wants, your beliefs even, seem trivial. It’s just one of the many lasting impressions I’ve had from my experience, and believe me there are many. There are so many, in fact, that it becomes very difficult to specify and articulate just one. Perhaps that’s why people go to Africa when they have a need for introspection. You’re bound to have an experience that will cause you to reflect, on yourself, others, the universe, etc. etc. I’ve done a lot of reflecting, and it’s still leading me to take action in certain parts of my life.

So ultimately, when you ask me what I’ve taken from my time in Ghana?, the truth is… not a single thing, but a whole bunch of things. Read the blog and you’ll know what I mean.

I’ve really enjoyed writing this blog, and having the opportunity to put my thoughts on “paper”. Thank you so much for allowing me to do so. Not sure how often I’ll keep it up now that I’m back or what I’ll write about, but I’m sure to post something new from time to time. For now, goodnight Ghana, and goodbye Philly.

Mariposas

Our first week in Ghana, during the looooooong car ride from Accra to Kintampo, I got very acquainted with my 3 new sistahs. We’re all from different places, all with different backgrounds, and we’re all pretty vocal. So, one can only imagine the kinds of conversations that were had (I won’t elaborate).

It was during one of these questions that I first heard of the term, “spirit animal”. Jo, who is even more vocal than I, asked if we knew what our spirit animal was. We stared back with blank looks. Guess not. And the she explained. Apparently, it’s an animal that you have a kinship with, which you come into contact with in many forms. It represents you. It is your spirit animal. Hers is an elephant. I thought and thought about it, and all I could come up with was a dog. I love dogs. I hope to be able to have a dog again one day soon (R.I.P. Gizmo). But that’s all I got. I didn’t want that to be my spirit animal, though. Dogs are great, but they’re not really cool or sexy. Better than a spirit animal of a rat or squirrel, I guess, but not all that great.

And so we continued our time here in Ghana. As the days passed and we met Baby Ray and continued with our projects, I forgot all about the spirit animal. I was too busy developing schemes to adopt Ghanaian babies and smuggle them back to the US as my children.

Then one day, it hit me. As I stood in the main office of our hotel, I began to look at the wooden carvings for sale. There were many carvings of different shapes and sizes: drums, people, animals. As I looked up I noticed the beautifully painted carvings outlining the window sill. They were butterflies! Some huge, some little. And then I knew. Mariposa!! That is my spirit animal. They were everywhere. I saw them fly past me at least twice a day, I saw them at exhibits at the national parks, and then there’s the story of how I got the name. Like I said, everywhere.

Don’t know why it took me so long to put two and two together. But, now I know. D.C. has also introduced me to my new anthem, Mariposas, on Shakira’s new album, Sale el sol. I love it.

“Mariposas, vuelan a destiempo, coloreando el cielo de Abril….”

I’m listening to it now, singing myself off to sleep…. Majo!

Whooop Whooop, Baby Ray!!

After a lot of brainstorming, problem-solving and continuous e-mailing…

Baby Ray’s Life of Ray project officially has non-profit status!!! Yay! We’ve been working closely with the National Medical Fellowships foundation, the organization that granted us this wonderful opportunity to come to Ghana, and were able to come under their umbrella (it’s not raining anymore ).

This means that the donation link for Baby Ray is up and running again, and you can still donate if you choose. We’re over halfway to our goal! Instead of using our donation button, you just click on the link to NMF and donate there. Just be sure to specify that your donation is for “Baby Ray”/”Life of Ray”/ “Ray”/etc, so we know who the donations are for. All of the details are on Baby Ray’s blog.

www.lifeofbabyray.wordpress.com

Woooohoooo!!!

I’d never do that at home

So, my time here in Ghana is coming to an end. Although there have been highs and lows, one thing is for sure: it’s been an experience I will never forget (never ever ever, ever ever). Reflecting back on today’s events and events that have happened during the last 6 weeks, I’ve realized that I’ve done a lot of things here that I would never do at home. Oddly enough, they’re mostly vehicle-related. Here’s a list of some of them.

1. Cram into a passenger van (clown-style)- And I hope to never do this again. On the way to my first Ghanaian wedding we crammed into a small passenger van for 14. There were 21 of us, including the driver. People were sitting on laps, hip to hip and thigh to thigh. We were all very acquainted by the time we reached our destination.
2. Ride on top of an SUV- This is the best way to enjoy the safari at Mole National Park. It’s a lot of fun, but remember, mosquito repellent does not protect against the sandflies (and they are viscious!).
3. Hitchhike- Today I sorta hitchhiked with some man from my hotel to the seamstress. I first asked the hotel staff for a ride, but ran into a nice man in the parking lot on my way to find the designated hotel driver (Frank). I thought he was leaving, and asked him for a ride down the road. He was not, but offered to take me anyway as a way of thanking us for the work we’re doing here at the hospital (I was wearing my scrubs). We chatted all the way to the seamstress. His name was Phillip. He was very nice. He did not abduct me. I would never ever, ever ever do that at home.
4. Consume an all-fried diet %75 of the time- No need to go into this too much considering the multiple posts I’ve already dedicated to the subject. Fried chicken 5 days in a row, sometimes twice. Need I say more? Yes. Lunch today of fried chicken and fried yam with a pre-lunch snack of togwe (doughnuts). Oh so yummy, oh so bad.
5. Give my phone # so freely- Only my Ghanaian cell #, though. Everybody asks for your phone number. It’s hard to say no. I feel like I’m in middle or high school again, when I’m actually concerned about hurting people’s feelings. So, I give it. I won’t have it much longer, anyway.
6. Provide so much information about my day-to-day occurrences- Close friends know I don’t usually reveal much about what I do during a day. Most of the time the conversation is something like:

Friend: What are you doing?
Mariposa: Running errands.
F: Ah, ok. What do you have to do?
M: Just some administrative things.
F: Like…?
M: Nothing too important. Just lots of running around.
…and so on…

It’s not that I’m intentionally vague, so much as I just like to have some privacy. It’s the same reason I don’t always answer my phone. But here I am in Ghana, blogging about my day-to-day thoughts, feelings, and experiences and sharing it with everyone. Trying to solicit support and suggestions for the Life of Ray project even led me to share my blog on facebook. . It’s been rough.

That’s the end of the list for now. There are some other things I won’t mention here, but suffice it to say that I’ve had a great time. Furthermore, I guess I should never say never. But I’m pretty sure most of it’s true. Majo!

Homesick vs. Ghana-sick

As you might guess from the title, I’ve been sick.

I’ve never been so acquainted with a restroom facility before. I mean, really. It’s been hard for me to think of much else. “Impending doom” is an understatement compared to what I’ve experienced the past three days. Many things have happened that warrant discussion via blog posts (being assaulted for iphones, beach parties, African dance lessons, sneaky sistahs), but I’ve been entirely too preoccupied. On the upside, my stomach has never been so flat, and I’ve lost about an inch from my waist. On the downside, I’ve never been so afraid to eat (true anorexia).

So, I guess that means I’m Ghana-sick, but it pretty much just applies to the food. Although I do miss many of the comforts I enjoy at home. So then, maybe I’m a little homesick. The other night I actually dreamed about Philly, and how much I was going to miss it. Seriously. I dreamed that I was walking through my neighborhood with my mother and sister reminiscing about the time I’d spent in the city of brotherly love, and all of the great times I’ve had. City walks, summer happy hours, water ice runs. So, I’m Philly-sick.

Last night, I dreamed about a sandwich. Seriously. I dreamed that I somehow managed to get my hands on a roasted turkey sandwich with lettuce and tomato and everything delicious on wheat bread. When I woke up I was sad (and hungry). So, I’m sandwich-sick.

As I start to feel better, I’ll be inspired to write more. I’m on a new medication, and I can already feel the difference. There’s a lot to get done this week, between finishing my research project, our group projects, and finalizing and getting all of the paperwork and documents together for Baby Ray and the Life of Ray fund. Hopefully we can get the link working again by the end of the week, and I apologize to those who tried to make donations and were unable to. We really appreciate your support.

In other other news, I graduate in 3 weeks

Am I still in Ghana?

Thanks so much for your support!! Baby Ray has raised almost $1,500 dollars!! Unfortunately, we’re having some difficulty with the paypal link. Please hold off on donating for the moment, but don’t forget to donate!! I’ll let you know when it’s working again.

There are many differences between Kintampo and Axim, some obvious, some a little more subtle.

Obvious Differences:
1. Beach- I am now staying at a beach resort and every evening I can sit on the balcony and look onto the beach as I type my little heart out. While it makes typing more peaceful, it really makes work hard to do. We spent yesterday afternoon on the beach, swimming and kayaking and enjoying the sunset. It’s so different, I’m wondering if I’m still in Ghana. Kintampo has no beach. It is the center of Ghana. We spent our Kintampo evenings walking from the hospital to the seamstress and then back home, waving to all of the children that ran out of their houses to see the oburonis.

2. Hospital- Axim’s hospital definitely has some resources that Kintampo’s doesn’t have. Patient beds are covered by mosquito nets to protect patients from malaria, an illness that accounts for a large percentage of the hospital admissions. In addition, there is a neonatal unit in this hospital It has 3 incubators instead of 1. I haven’t seen any babies die this week, although I did hear of one dying last night (asphyxiation).

3. Hotel Staff- Not that the people at the lodge in Kintampo weren’t nice; they were very nice. However, the people here are reeeeeally nice. Mama Fous got bananas for me so I could have a banana split on Celebrate a Life Day. I haven’t had a banana split in almost 20 years, haha. It was different, but goood.

4. The food- We get fruit at least twice a day!!! We don’t have to purchase it for ourselves and bring it to the kitchen and run the risk of a good portion of it not making it onto our plates. We ask for certain meals, and they say, “No problem!”, and they mean it! In Kintampo, they told us we couldn’t have beans. No beans?? No beans?!?!? We didn’t ask for lobster, just beans!! Speaking of which, last night I did have lobster here at the resort and it was delicious!! Of course it was a special occasion, and I paid for it. But in Kintampo, it didn’t matter. Also, Aunty Vita is the bomb in the kitchen. Red red, spaghetti, fufu, banku, chicken or fish with joloff, she does it all. And it’s damn good. Thank God for D.C.’s motivation to do am jogs. I already bought my graduation dress, and I would be really upset if I couldn’t zip it up in 3 weeks.

5. The Doctors- Doc and Dr. O are soooooo completely different. I like them both, but they are night and day, haha. That is all.

6. Baby Ray- He is the last obvious difference. There is no Baby Ray here in Axim. I’m enjoying the beach, but I really wish I could see him growing and spending time with Akua. E-mail updates aren’t quite the same.

The subtle differences aren’t worth mentioning for the moment. Til tomorrow…

“Celebrate a Life” Day

Tomorrow is “Celebrate a Life” day.

“Celebrate a LIfe”day is a day I created so that I would always be happy and in a celebratory mood on April 20th. Otherwise, it’s sort of a sad day for my family.

April 20th is the day that my Ray’s time with us was completed. He passed early in the morning, and I found out when I woke up. I was expecting the news.

For the first few years after, I chose to either forget the day or I was sad when I remembered. I spent a lot of time being sad, because I expected to have a lot more time to spend with him. I expected for him to be at my high school and college graduation. I expected to be able to come home and spend holidays with him and mom, and to have them come visit me when I moved away from home. I expected for him to walk me down the aisle, and for him to be an excellent grandfather to my children.

I stayed sad, until one day I realized that my expectation was the problem. We expect so much that we fail to appreciate all we have in the present. It wasn’t until really reflecting on what an amazing father I had, and all that he taught me to believe in, how he raised me and all of the lessons he instilled in me, that I could fully appreciate what he did for me in the short time our lives were spent on this earth together. What more could I really expect?

So, tomorrow I will celebrate life (his, mine, mom’s, Andrea’s, Gabs, Baby Ray’s, yours). I’m celebrating with my 3 new oburoni friends, here in Africa, where life began. It’s a day to indulge yourself, and do as many of the things that you enjoy that can possibly fit into one day. It’s a day to just appreciate being alive and the lives of those you love (as you should every day, but sometimes forget). Perhaps I should call it Ray day… nope, doesn’t indicate what you’re supposed to do, haha (also sounds like Ray Jay, and i don’t really like that).

Happy Celebrate a Life day!!!!

Coming home

Yesterday, we left Kumasi for Axim. I’m currently in Axim, and I’ll tell you all about that later, but suffice it to say that I’m really happy that I’m here for the second part of our trip.

We stopped in Cape Coast along the way, and visited the Cape Coast Castle. I’m not a big history person, so before coming to Ghana I didn’t know that Ghana was one of the major participators in the export of slaves during the slave trade. So, when the opportunity to visit this castle, which was the last “home” for thousands of slaves as they prepared for their journey to new lands, I really wanted to go. Though there are plenty of places in the US where I can get a glimpse of the lives lived by my ancestors, I knew that they would pale in comparison.

Going to Cape Coast allowed me to see where the slaves were kept, where they were sorted, and where they were branded according to physical capabilities. I saw where the women who resisted the rape of their foreign slave traders (and probably some non-foreigners) were punished for 18 days at a time; a dark dungeon with two small wholes that allowed air in from outside and a large hole in the ground for urination, defecation, etc.

We stood in the windowless, cement room where the men that tried to fight back against their captors were left to suffocate to death. Then we stopped in the church constructed over the dungeons, where a whole in the ground allowed the domestic slaves to eavesdrop on the captured during worship and inform their masters if the captured slaves were planning an escape or revolt. We read the plaque that the Ghanaian chiefs of Cape Coast constructed to apologize for the atrocities they allowed to happen by participating in the slave trade through the provision of their captives to the slave traders. Heavy stuff.

The tour ended with a final walk. For us, it was a walk toward the beautiful beach with crashing waves just behind the castle. For the slaves, it was a walk through the appropriately named “Door of No Return”, onto the ships that would deliver them to a life of servitude and oppression (if they even made it that far). We returned.

It’s funny, because when I told people I was coming to Ghana certain people kept mentioning how it must be an emotional experience for me being a Black American and all. I would usually just shrug it off, because originally it wasn’t at all. However, spending more time here has really made it more of an emotional experience and has really made me want to know more where my family is originally from. Especially since my sistahs who are traveling with me can say that they are “Haitian American”, “Mexican American” and “Cuban American”. I just say I’m black, haha, because I am a mix of many things and I can’t trace it back so easily.

I rep America, but with the majority of Americans being from somewhere else, it would be nice to be able to wave that flag (or wrist band) and rep that country too. . Sounds like another blog adventure in the works.

Anywho, I think this is an excellent place for all Americans to visit. Not just to appreciate the profound impact of slavery on the world, but for many of us to gain a deeper appreciation for the atrocities that were endured for us to live the lives we now take for granted.

Negotiations Failed

My stomach is continuing to strike back and my efforts to appease it are futile.

Baby Ray has raised over $1,000 for the Life of Ray fund!!!! Thank you so much for your support!! www.lifeofbabyray.wordpress.com.

We got to Kumasi early Thurs. afternoon. Upon checking my e-mail I was surprised to find that there was high-speed internet!!! Woooooohooooo!! Finally got to add some pics to the blog. It doesn’t work all of the time, but it’s a lot faster than the vodafone modems we are usually using. And really, I can’t even complain about them. I’m happy to be here in Ghana with any type of internet connection at all.

Yesterday am we had our mid-term review. I shared with the other scholars about my research project, and the work I had completed thus far. Then, Jo and I got to share the Life of Ray project. Wonderful!! Everyone seemed excited about it. Dr.B gave some excellent feedback. Although singing its praises, he also played devil’s advocate and pointed out some of the difficulties of our mission. He also challenged us to think bigger, since surely our project would be a success, to how many women we would like to help and for how long. For the most part he didn’t mention anything we hadn’t already thought of, but he did provide new solutions and points of view that hadn’t been provided before.

I made it through the first part of the meeting, but I felt really tired. I spent the rest of the day laying in the bed with multiple episodes of impending doom and vomiting. I must have eaten something bad. For some reason, I’m the only one that’s sick. I had to stay in while the others went to the cultural arts center, I’m pretty bummed about that. They came back and showed me all of the beautiful things they had purchased. Stupid stomach.

I started antibiotics last night. I woke up this am feeling a little less tired. Impending doom not so impending today, but still there. I added another antibiotic today. I felt good enough to come down to breakfast and have a piece of bread, then I laid down til the others were ready to go to the market. Then back home for lunch. I asked for boiled yam, just 1 boiled yam, nothing else. They couldn’t accept that, haha. The boiled yam came with fish (what made me sick the first time) and sauce. Oh well. It smells so good, but my stomach is sooo sensitive.

I’m typing you now while the others are on a boat ride. I decided not to go, since I felt a little queasy during part of our car ride today. I can only imagine how I would feel on a boat ride right now… It’s ok, though. I need to help Baby Ray send some ‘Thank you’ e-mails .

Never can say “Goodbye”

Yesterday was our last day at Kintampo Municipal Hospital. In order to tie up things with the Life of Ray project before we left, we reminded Doc of our 3 pm meeting with him, Mama Florence, Godwin (the social worker), Baby Ray and Baby Ray’s mother. In preparation for our meeting, Jo and I developed a contract to be signed by all of the parties who will be responsible for the monitoring and distribution of the funds raised by the Life of Ray Charity fund and the care and well-being of Baby Ray.

By the time 3pm came, we were ready. We had a copy of our contract for revision, and vanilla cakes we bought in honor of this special occasion (a large one shaped like a bunt cake for all of us, and a smaller one shaped like a heart just for Baby Ray’s mother).

First the four of us (D.C., Jo, Al and I) sat with Doc to finalize the contract. It was great to see how despite how overworked this man is and how little time he has for himself and his family, he really cares about his patients and the people of Kintampo. He helped us elaborate on certain parts of the contract and clear up any confusion.

Then, a knock on the door. In came Mama Florence along with Akua, Baby Ray’s mother, and Baby Ray. Though I’ve seen Mama Florence in dresses, it was the first time I had ever seen Akua dressed up. She was normally barefoot, wrapped in layers of colorful, patterned-fabric from head to toe. Today she was dressed in a short-sleeved collared shirt decorated with leaves of pink and green, beautiful electric blue dress pants and brown leather sandals. Wow. And to think that she dressed up just to meet with us! The tear factories were getting ramped up. (Baby Ray was wearing the little girl white linen dress that Mama Florence often dresses him in. He was not wearing the thick dust of powder on his forehead that he usually does).

For the next 20 minutes, Jo and I explained the contract to Mama Florence and Akua. For most of the explanation, Akua, who does not speak much English, sat looking at the floor. She’s only 20 years old, and seems so downtrodden. It’s not difficult to imagine how she could find herself in this situation. At the end of our explanation, we asked Mama Florence to repeat it back to us so we were sure that she understood. She did with a little help from Doc, and then translated everything to Akua. We ensured that Akua understood that we weren’t just giving her money, and that she would receive the funds as a monthly salary. We ensured that she understood that there would be people to help guide her, and that we really cared about her wellbeing and that of Baby Ray. She was stoic.

And then, tears. She began to cry. Tears ran down her face and she thanked us for what we were doing. Tears ran down her face today, just as they had 3 weeks earlier when feeling hopeless and alone she decided to abandon her baby. But this time they were for a different reason. And so I began to cry.

I cried because I thought about this baby that was born on the exact day that we left D.C. to head for Ghana. I thought about this abandoned baby that we were destined to meet, this baby that I was destined to name after my father. Though my Ray’s potential was fulfilled, his time was cut short. Baby Raymond Adam Akwasi Yakubu has an entire life full of potential ahead of him. I do not believe in coincidences.

And so, we all sat together and signed the contract. Then we ate cake.

Here’s to Baby Ray! It takes a village, two countries and 8 people from completely different backgrounds and cultures whose hearts are open to the possibility of faith, hope and love. Join the movement!

www.lifeofbabyray.wordpress.com

p.s. The next time I see Baby Ray he will be a toddler.

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